All I Want For Christmas

Let me introduce myself to you before you start reading: Married since August 2014, been trying to conceive since August 2015. Started blogging soon after. The reason I decided on the name "The Impregnable Woman" is because of the definition of the word impregnable. It means: “strong enough to resist or withstand attack; not to be taken by force;unconquerable”. This means I am strong enough to withstand the attacks that will come in my life (infertility). I will not be taken by force and I refuse to be conquered by infertility and loss. I refuse to let infertility win in my life. So I am, and all women should be, an impregnable woman. Thank you for reading! •~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~• 

Oh the holidays......

Family! Friends! Presents! Food!

Christmas time!

Also.....

Babies being born. 

Pregnancy announcements. 

Friends getting pregnant. 

Family having babies. 

They get to open presents filled with newborn clothes. 

They get to send out the cute Christmas cards with their new baby bump. 

They get to surprise their whole family on Christmas morning with their newest addition to their family. 

As Christmas approaches, this is what I think about and how I haven’t had this happen to me yet. 

All I want for Christmas is a healthy baby. 

All I want is to open a present with tiny little clothes for my baby. 

All I want is to surprise my whole family on Christmas morning that a mini me is coming into the world in 9 months. 

That’s all. 

Just a baby. 

I want my husband to have the title of daddy forever. 

Crazy that when holidays come, our brains instantly become heightened with baby fever. 

I don’t think it’s a bad thing, it’s just hard. 

It’s hard to see that last Christmas I was SURE it was going to happen. 

Nothing. 

It’s hard because it seems like everyone else is getting what I want. 

I’m trying not to be negative, but rather be honest. 

This what I think about. 

Thanksgiving has passed. 

Nothing. 

Christmas is coming. 

And I’m scared I won’t be strong enough if the “nothing” comes again.  

A part of me knows I will be ok either way. 

But the other part of me is scared. 

So what do I do?

How do I not go crazy? 

How do I not let myself get too sad?

I don’t have all the answers but I do have one. 

I have focused on the things I DO HAVE instead of what I DON’T. 

I have an exceptional husband who is there for me always.  

I have the greatest family ever. 

I have the cutest dogs ever that fill a little bit of the whole in my heart for a baby. 

I have a peaceful home that I love coming home to every day. 

I have a car that works. 

A job I love. 

And my health has NEVER BEEN BETTER. 

I’m trying to remember what I have. 

I don’t want to lose something I have because I am chasing after what I don’t. 

I don’t want to forget about what I do have because all my attention is on what I don’t. 

I don’t want what I do have to feel unappreciated because I focused on what I don’t. 

So, all I want for Christmas is.......

To LOVE what I have. 

To APPRECIATE what I have. 

To BRAG about what I have. (Brag in a good way)

That’s my plan. 

Who’s with me??

Just the thoughts and ramblings of the impregnable woman.