Dear Mommy To Be,

To all the mommy's to be, I'm sorry.

You invited me to your gender reveal, I didn't go.

You asked me to help you register for your baby shower, I said no.

You invited me to your baby shower, I didn't go.

You asked if I wanted to help set up your nursery, I said no.

You asked if I wanted to hold your baby, I said no. 

Please know that I am completely thrilled that you are having your baby.

I couldn't be more sincere about how happy I am for your sweet little bundle of joy to come.

I actually want NOTHING more than to join in with all of the excitement and joy that is happening.

But I can't.

I don't know how to work past the pain I feel of not being a mommy.

I don't know how to put on a smile and go celebrate with you.

I don't always feel adequate as a women in a room full of mommy's and mommy's to be.

So I want to write this on behalf of myself and any other women dealing with infertility that have felt this way.

I am truly sorry that I don't know how to work past my feelings.

I don't know how to make it not about me, and I know that is selfish.

I don't want to feel this way.

I want to be brave and be able to separate my own emotions from what's going on in my friends lives.

From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry I haven't been their for the most exciting time in YOUR life.

Hopefully one day I will be ready.

But for now, I hope that you can understand my heart and understand that is nothing against you.

I hope you can understand that I don't WANT this to be hard for me, but it is.

One day, when I am ready, I would love to be a bigger part of your life and be closer to your baby.

For now, I pray you can be understanding and let me jump in when I am ready.

Just the thoughts and ramblings of The Impregnable Woman.....