I'll See You In My Dreams

****Disclaimer: I am ONLY speaking of dreams that happen while you sleep, NOT the dreams and aspirations that are in your heart****

Dreams.

Such a strange thing that occurs in us while we sleep.

I have always been a very vivid dreamer and I almost always remember my dreams when I wake up.

I love it.

I also hate it.

This morning I woke up from a dream that was everything I wanted in real life.

I had a baby girl who was just born and she was absolutely PERFECT in every way.

I don't often get to see faces in my dreams, but I got to see hers'.

She was perfect.

I was a mommy.

My husband was a daddy.

For the brief moments of my dream, it was everything I ever wanted and more.

My dream felt so real and so alive that I didn't want to wake up.

I FELT what it was like to BE a mommy and love another human being like crazy.

I FELT what it was like to SEE my man BE an incredible daddy.

I FELT it.

But it wasn't real.

Then the coldness of the morning crept in and woke me up to my reality.

My reality is that I do not have a baby.

I am not a mommy.

My husband is not a daddy.

Waking up was the difficult part.

Everything inside of me wanted to go back to sleep so that I could hold my baby one more time.

Waking up means facing the reality of my situation.

Sometimes, I just don't want to.

Sometimes, I want to go back to being that little girl playing and dreaming up my Barbie's life with my sister.

Sometimes, I want to just keep dreaming.

However, that is not an option.

I don't want to be suck in a lull of dreams and a fake world because I going to miss out on the real world.

I understand the real world is full of pain and heartache.

It is also full of such joy and healing.

I may not want to be in reality all the time, but I am grateful to be alive and to be strong enough to keep going.

Dreaming sucks sometimes.

That's a fact.

Reality sucks sometimes.

That is also a fact.

But dreaming can't compare to the love and experiences I have been given in real life that have made me who I am today.

Dreaming can't provide a husband that has been there for me through every painful tear.

Dreaming can't provide a family that has been a backbone and a foundation on which I sometimes need to lean on.

Dreaming can't allow me to experience life and let it mold me into the strong woman that I am today.

So next time you have a dream that is everything you ever wanted, remember to focus on the beauty that you have in REALITY.

Time to re-label your reality.

Reality may be ugly but I choose to see the BEAUTY in it.

Reality may be painful but I choose to see the LOVE in it.

Reality may have anger but I choose to be the JOY in it.

Reality may have bitterness and resentment but I choose to be FORGIVING and THANKFUL.

Reality isn't always easy but I KNOW IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

Just the thoughts and ramblings a The Impregnable Woman.